“...Actually, I didn't escape it—I actively rejected it. Because the truth is, the pressure wasn't coming from my circumstances; it was coming from my own thoughts about them." —NDUMISO.L. K MKHIZE 03.18
Ever blamed someone for "making you feel" a certain way? Like when your Boss reprimanded you or treated you in a way you thought was unfair. Or when your relative said something that got under your skin. We all do it.
But here's the mind-blowing truth from ancient wisdom: “No one can actually make you feel anything.” – Yeah, take a moment with that one before we dive deeper.
When Marcus Aurelius wrote those words nearly 2,000 years ago, he nailed something we're still struggling with today. Those external events—unanswered texts, passive-aggressive comments, missed deadlines—they're just neutral facts until our minds assign meaning to them.
Think about it: Your crush ghosting doesn't automatically create feelings of neglect. Your brain creates that reaction based on what you think their silence means. Same with workplace drama or dealing with jealousy – you are the one unconsciously allowing your mind to engage with those feelings.
Yes, this isn't about suppressing your emotions or putting on a fake "everything's fine" smile. It's about recognizing where your feelings come from—your own interpretations.
How would I counter this you may ask? Well, what you create, you can change.
I know, easier said than done right; though when I first came across this wisdom, I found that meditation, journaling routines are already building this mental muscle. They're creating space between what happens and how I choose to respond.
Every time someone or something pushes my buttons, I pause and take a moment to ask: "What story am I telling myself about this situation? Is there another way to see this?"
That tiny pause is my superpower. It's the difference between being emotionally hijacked and maintaining your inner calm regardless of what's happening around me.
I can't control what others do, but my reactions? Those are 100% mine to command & that’s facts ;)
